Scientists have identified a highly contagious virus, which we can only stamp out together. No, this contagion is not another strain of flu or spyware spreading from computer to computer.

It’s blame.

According to a Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, blaming someone else for one’s mistakes is a socially contagious condition—the behavior literally spreads from one person to the next.

People have the tendency to blame others for the problems in their lives, little realizing that others have no power over them unless they willingly permit themselves to be influenced by others. We have the capacity to guide our lives and control our situations. If we do not exercise this power and allow ourselves to become helpless or lethargic, the blame lies with us but not with any external agent.

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.

So if some thing unpleasant happens, should we blame others for it? Should we criticize any one for making us unhappy or disturbed. Should we place the blame on others for our misfortune? Should we trace our adversity to someone else’s unreasonable or inappropriate behavior?

What is the use of blaming your family, your spouse, your father or mother, your brother or sister, your friends or your colleagues, your society or your community for the problems and unpleasantness in your life? What is the use of expecting others to behave according to your expectations and then blaming them for not being so, when you know that they are mere players in the drama of your life and are acting so according to the script you have already written?

Your life is your responsibility. You have the freedom to choose the best of the options you have in any given circumstances, to choose the correct response as well as the right action. You have the power to control your thoughts and your actions and you can mold them in whatever way you want to. Indeed there are certain factors and forces which are clearly out of your control, such as the social, political or the economic conditions. But you have the ability to adjust yourself to these circumstances and act appropriately in any given situation.

A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying.

So if something goes wrong, instead of blaming others and outside forces, look within yourself and find out what went wrong. Find out which movements and habits of your mind and body caused it. Is it because you made some wrong decisions, invited wrong people into your life, taken inappropriate decisions, failed to strengthen some aspect of your personality, did not put in adequate effort or allowed yourself into some kind of complacency? Using your best wisdom and ability to listen to yourself, find out which weaknesses in your personality are contributing to the problem or the failure and then try to overcome them.

When we blame, we give away our power.

You are in control. You own your life and you have the power to make it the life you want. You have the power to make the necessary changes, to move forward and be successful whether in your job, your relationships, or your health. Stop being the victim. Stop giving away your personal power!

Failure, disappointments and despair are indications that there are some elements in you which are demanding self correction and improvement. If you can identify the cause within yourself, you are likely to put a permanent end to the troubling factor. If you are failing mostly in your actions, you must realize that it is because your thoughts and actions are not in harmony with each other. You must realize that you cannot achieve success if you are in conflict with yourself.

Webster defines blame as to find fault with, to hold responsible. You can readily see, if you are blaming someone else for your life, you are not taking responsibility. Blame is connected to the concept of responsibility for action, omission or a trait of character. So if you are blaming others, how can you be responsible? All blaming others can accomplish, is to give you an excuse to fail. No one is responsible for your life. You are.

The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others.

This is the road to success, to overall perfection and improvement, to happiness and prosperity. When you look into yourself for possible causes of your failures and disappointments and stop blaming others, you are likely to make them your allies in the drama of your life.

YOU WILL NOT ACHIEVE SUCCESS IF YOU ALWAYS BLAME OTHERS FOR YOUR LIFE..

when you blame someone else for your lack of success, you allow someone else to be in control of your misery and therefore your happiness. You have to wait until that other person “lets” you be happy. Instead, if you stop blaming everyone else and accept that you are in control of all things in your life, than you have the power to be successful.

Signs You are Avoiding Personal Responsibility

It is often easy to spot someone else who blames others (they may be the one constantly complaining about how bad their life is, yelling at others, or harboring an overly negative outlook on life), but it can be more difficult to spot it in yourself.
If you do any of the following as a matter of course, you may be avoiding personal responsibility.

*You almost never believe you are wrong. If you asked others to be completely honest, they’d say you believe you are never wrong.

*You dwell a lot on the past instead of looking toward the future.

*You use other people’s irresponsible behavior to justify your own
(”They’re driving way over the speed limit, so why shouldn’t I?”).

*You believe apologizing is a sign of weakness (instead of what it really is … a sign of strength).

* You feel you have been dealt a “bad hand” in life.

* You view negative occurrences/relationships in your life as being out of your control.

*You don’t think you can change anything in your life for the better.

*You believe life is unfair and often feel sorry for yourself.

How to Take Responsibility, Stop Blaming Others and Start Living Your Life

Everyone blames someone else at one time or another. Nobody’s perfect. And you may even be thinking, “But it WAS my spouse’s/parent’s/boss’ fault that I missed my plane/don’t trust others/don’t make enough money.”

Next time you’re tempted to blame some else, accept responsibility yourself. Then, experience how much better you feel.

And it very well may be, but the key to living a long and happy life is knowing how to accept personal responsibility and not blame others — even when it may be their fault. This does not mean you have to go through life letting others walk all over you. On the contrary, accepting personal responsibility means you have to take the high road and be the bigger person, even when it’s hard. Here’s how:

* Apologize when you’re wrong (this means first accepting that you’re not always right).

*Admit when you’ve made a mistake.

*Learn to forgive.

* Be open to the ideas and opinions of others.

* Identify the things in your life that you are not happy about, and do something to change them.

*Practice saying, “I am responsible.” Eventually, you will start to believe it.

* Take smart risks, and realize that you are responsible for the outcomes.

*Adopt a positive outlook on life (assume that things will go your way).

* Recognize and embrace your own shortcomings, and ask others for help when you need it.

Always Putting the Blame on Others. For some people, the first reaction to a problem is to find someone to blame. Blaming is a defense mechanism to avoid taking personal responsibility for the situation. The blamer rapidly finds fault in the other person and criticizes them. Trying to find a solution to the problem is much better than looking for someone to blame. Blaming is a pattern in some families that keeps people from becoming closer. People who blame others or situations without taking responsibility for their contribution to the problem never get the sense of satisfaction of growth. By refusing to see their own errors, they lose the opportunity to change the very aspects of themselves that keep them stuck.

To create more harmony and happiness in your life, catch your errors of thinking and break into them. As the saying by Kahil Gibran goes, ‘If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?’